What is responsive settling?

Responsive settling is a gentle and supportive way to help your baby go to sleep or return to sleep. It involves responding to your baby's cues in ways that comfort them, including rocking to sleep, patting or verbally comforting. As your baby grows, they will gradually learn how to settle and fall asleep with less help or on their own.

It is normal, especially in the first year of your baby's life, for them to need help to fall asleep and to get back to sleep after night wakings. Some children expect the same conditions each time they fall asleep. For example, if you always nurse, feed or rock your baby they may find it harder to fall back to sleep if they wake at night without the same cues.

How do I know my baby is tired?

Babies, like adults, show signs when they're tired. Learning to spot these early cues may help you settle them before they become overtired. Crying is a normal process that babies use to communicate.

Tired signs in babies may include:

• yawning
• crying
• making jerky movements
• closing their fists or sucking their fingers
• grimacing or rubbing their eyes
• having trouble focussing or going cross-eyed
• red eyebrows

Older babies might show they're tired by:

• tantrums or challenging behaviours
• becoming clumsy
• demanding more attention than usual
• becoming fussy when feeding or eating

Keep in mind that every baby is different. What's important is getting to know your baby's individual rhythm and cues.

What should I do before I settle my baby?

Tips on what to do before you settle your baby are:

Make sure your baby:

• isn't hungry or thirsty
• has a dry nappy
• is calm
• is comfortably dressed — not too hot or cold

You might cuddle your baby, swaddle (wrap) them, or use a baby sleeping bag, depending on their age and what helps them feel secure.

Always follow the safe sleeping guidelines, and place your baby on their back to sleep.

How can I settle my baby?

There are different techniques to help settle your baby. Always try to watch and respond to your baby's cues.

Settling in arms

Settling in arms is suitable for all babies, but is most helpful for babies in their first few weeks and up to around 3 to 6 months of age:

• Hold your baby in your arms — you can gently rock them until they're calm or asleep.
• Once they are calm or asleep, gently place your baby in their cot on their back.
• If your baby gets upset when placed in the cot, comfort them until they're calm.
• If your baby becomes distressed, pick them up and go back to the first step.

Hands-on settling

Hands-on settling is a method that encourages your baby to settle to sleep in their cot. It can be suitable for babies of all ages, but younger babies up to 6 months of age may respond best.

Try to set a routine around settling your baby. For example, you can change their nappy, read them a story and cuddle them. Then use hands-on settling:

• Gently place your baby in their cot, on their back, awake.
• Watch and respond to cues from your baby.
• If your baby remains calm, allow them to settle on their own.
• If they start to cry, try placing your hands on your baby to reassure them.
• Leave your hands on your baby until they have gone to sleep.

To help them settle, you can also:

• make gentle 'shh' sounds
• talk to them quietly with comforting tones
• gently tell them 'it's OK' or 'time for sleep'
• do gentle rhythmic patting of their thigh, shoulder, tummy or the mattress
• gently stroke their head, arm or leg
• rock the cot in a gentle rhythm

Tips to help with hands-on settling:

• As part of their bedtime routine, wrap your baby in a light cotton fabric or use a sleeping bag with fitted arm holes and no hood.
• You may want to sit on a chair beside their cot and pat through the cot rails.
• If you have had enough or your baby is not getting calmer, it's OK to stop and try something else.

Comfort settling

Comfort settling is when you gently comfort your baby for a few minutes and leave the room when your child is calm. It is generally recommended for babies aged 6 months or older. The aim is for your baby to learn how to fall asleep on their own.

• Start with your usual sleep routine, such as nappy change, story and a cuddle to help them calm.
• Gently place your baby in their cot, awake and on their back, and tell them it's sleep time.
• Pat or make 'shh' sounds for a few minutes if they need help to relax, then leave the room.
• You may need to repeat this several times before your baby is able to settle to sleep.

Babbling, whinging, brief cries and movement are common when your baby is settling.

If your baby's cries go up and down, wait a short time to see if they settle before you go back in to their room.

If your baby's cries get louder, go back and comfort them in the cot.

If this doesn't help, try comfort settling again another time, or use hands-on settling or the settling in arms method.

Transition settling ('camping out')

Transition settling, also known as 'camping out', is a sleep technique recommended for a baby or child aged 6 months or older. With this method, you gradually teach your baby to fall asleep by themselves.

The idea is that you are still by their side to provide reassurance, but you do not physically help them to fall asleep. Over about 1 to 4 weeks, you begin sitting or lying further away when they are falling asleep.

This method is different from comfort settling, where you calm your baby and then leave them alone in the room.

Read more about the camping out method.

Responsive settling tips for all ages

Remember that everyone has sleep cycles, where you move between light and deep sleep. It's normal to wake between sleep cycles. If your baby can settle themselves, they will find it easier to resettle themselves after night wakings. Here are some responsive settling tips for all ages:

• Learn to recognise your baby's tired signs and cues.
• Your baby may sleep better in a darker, quieter environment.
• Try to be patient, flexible and realistic when helping your baby learn sleep skills.
• Respond in a calm and confident way to help your baby relax.
• Try to remain consistent to help your baby practice a new way of settling.
• Create a sleep routine that works for your family.

Resources and support

SA Health provides a booklet for settling your baby from birth to 12 months.

Visit your local child health centre or talk to a child health nurse.