A number of things might affect the decision you make about an unplanned pregnancy. If you are unsure of what to do, you are not alone. While some women know what they want from the outset, others can find the decision-making process difficult.
An unplanned pregnancy can raise different and sometimes confusing feelings and thoughts. This is very normal and most women experience this.
Your feelings can seem confusing as they often conflict with each other. For example, you may feel:
- anxious as you consider having a baby (or another baby)
- scared because you don’t know how to be a parent
- concerned if your current relationship is not stable
- joy because this is something you have always dreamed about
- excited as this may be a new opportunity for you
Even though these feelings seem to be in conflict with each other, they are all important to work through.
First steps in making this decision
As well as your feelings, there are many things to consider when making a decision and this can often add to this stressful time. Some things that might help you are:
- Don’t rush your decision (but remember that some options are influenced by how many weeks pregnant you are).
- Give yourself permission to explore and think about all your options.
- Be kind to yourself — you will feel differently about your options and decision day to day.
- Find as much information about what you need to support your decision (such as what support networks are available to you).
- Ensure you look after yourself physically and emotionally.
It is important that you take the time you need to make the best decision for you at this point in your life.
What options do you need to think about?
There are three options to consider with an unplanned pregnancy:
- Continuing with the pregnancy and raising the child.
- Continuing with the pregnancy, adoption or alternative care.
- Terminating the pregnancy, otherwise known as an abortion.
At this stage it can be helpful to talk to someone you know and trust. Many people find it is useful to speak to a professional. If you feel you need someone else to talk to, counsellors can help you work through the emotional, financial and practical issues involved with all of the options available to you.
Information for men
It is up to you how you will involve the father in the decision-making process and this will be affected by the current circumstances of the relationship.
You may want to attend counselling together or he may want to talk to someone to discuss his own feelings about the pregnancy. The counsellors at Pregnancy, Birth and Baby are available for all members of your family to talk to.
Other decision-making tools
- Family Planning — Pregnancy: Working through your options booklet.
- Children By Choice — Making a decision online tool.
Other support services available
- Contact a family planning clinic in your state or territory.
- Information for men — call MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78.
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Last reviewed: November 2019