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Fathers and miscarriage

3-minute read

A miscarriage can be a time of great sadness for the father as well as the mother. It's important to acknowledge your loss and to take time to look after yourself, as well as your partner. There are a number of support services available if you need them.

It is normal to experience a range of emotions, such as sadness, helplessness and anger.

It is normal to experience a range of emotions, such as sadness, helplessness and anger.

These feeling may change over time.

Many fathers are unsure how to deal with the loss of their baby.

You may feel that you need to be strong for your partner or that you should not feel as upset as your partner, but this can mean that you neglect your own grief.

It is important to acknowledge your feelings and to take the time to deal with your grief in addition to supporting you partner.

Looking after yourself

Make sure you look after yourself. Eating well, exercising and getting plenty of sleep can help you manage your feelings.

You may find that it is helpful to talk about your experience with a friend, family member, or someone independent, such as a counsellor or a support service.

Supporting your partner during a miscarriage

Your partner may be very upset following a miscarriage, but not everyone reacts the same way. The impact of pregnancy and miscarriage may mean that it takes your partner a while to recover, both emotionally and physically.

It is important to let your partner know if you feel upset about the miscarriage and that you need her support too. Understanding that you are both grieving may make you both feel less alone.

Things you can do:

  • Talk to your partner, let her know that you support her, and try not to rush her through her grief.
  • Do activities that you enjoy together.
  • Support each other around the home and with other children you may have.

It may take time for either or both of you to want sexual intimacy again. This is normal, and is best managed by talking openly to each other.

If you are worried that your partner is really struggling, talk to her about getting some independent help. Your family doctor or the support organisations mentioned below are a good place to start.

Where to find support

Read more about emotional support after a miscarriage.

Call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby on 1800 882 436, 7am to midnight (AET) to speak to a maternal child health nurse for advice and emotional support.

Red Nose Grief and Loss provides support for miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death. Call their support line on 1300 308 307, available 24 hours a day.

More information

Read more about miscarriage:

Speak to a maternal child health nurse

Call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby to speak to a maternal child health nurse on 1800 882 436 or video call. Available 7am to midnight (AET), 7 days a week.

Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content.

Last reviewed: March 2022

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