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Co-parenting

Key facts

  • Co-parenting is when separated parents share the tasks of raising children.
  • You will need to make lots of decisions about living arrangements, school and important occasions.
  • A parenting plan lists the things that are agreed between co-parents and helps everyone know what to expect.
  • Consent orders are like a parenting plan but are legally enforceable.
  • There are some things you can do to co-parent in an amicable way.

    • What is co-parenting?

    Co-parenting is when you share the tasks and responsibility for raising a child when you are divorced or separated from the other parent.

    When a relationship breaks down you might start living separately. Lots of decisions will need to be made about your child.

    This includes:

    • living arrangements
    • decisions about the child's health and education
    • how you will contact and communication with the other parent
    • how to manage special occasions

    Some tips for co-parenting

    Try to put your child first, even if you feel very emotional. Co-parenting works better for kids if you:

    • can communicate calmly with your ex-partner
    • listen to and acknowledge your child's feelings
    • live near to the other parent
    • are consistent about rules and rewards
    • plan for activities, holidays, and special events, such as birthdays
    • encourage your child to have a relationship with the other parent

    Family Relationships Online offers services for family relationship issues. They can also help families agree on care arrangements for children after parents separate.

    What does the law say about co-parenting?

    Australia's Family Law Act says both parents are responsible for the care and welfare of their children. The law presumes it's best for most children if both parents:

    • allow the other parent to maintain a relationship with your child
    • support and care for your child
    • co-operate with each other to make plans that are best for your child
    • explain their co-parenting arrangement to your child

    If there is a dispute about children, the Family Court can make parenting orders. These orders can state:

    • who your child should live with and spend time with
    • who should make decisions
    • where your child should go to school
    • whether your child should have a medical procedure

    In May 2024, there were some changes made to the Family Law Act. You can get more information from the Attorney-General's Department website or talk to a lawyer.

    Resolving disputes when co-parenting

    Family relationship centres

    If you can't agree on a parenting plan, you can get help from:

    These options are cheaper, easier and less stressful than going to court. You can call the Family Relationship Advice Line on 1800 050 321 for information.

    Family Court

    The next step is to seek legal advice and get a 'court parenting order' or a 'financial order'. This is a plan made for you by the courts. Before applying for a parenting order, you should attend family dispute resolution.

    The main courts dealing with parenting orders or financial orders are the:

    • Family Court of Australia
    • Family Court of Western Australia

    In rural areas, family disputes can be handled by local courts or magistrates' courts.

    You can go straight to the Family Court for a parenting order (without trying dispute resolution) if:

    • your child might be at risk of abuse or domestic violence by your former partner
    • you or your former partner can't co-parent due to physical or mental illness
    • you or your former partner can't participate in co-parenting due to location
    • the matter is very urgent

    You can also go straight to court if your family dispute can't be solved, as:

    • your former partner refuses to negotiate
    • your former partner refuses to follow existing orders

    What about child support payments

    A binding child support agreement is a signed agreement between both parents about child support payments. It can be made through Services Australia for any amount that you both agree on. It can include cash payments as well as non-cash payments such as school fees. Each parent should get legal advice before entering into the agreement.

    You can also apply for a child support assessment. This tells you how much child support you should pay or receive. It's based on both of your incomes and family circumstances.

    Resources and support

    You don't have to deal with everything on your own. Get help if you need it.

    You can ask your doctor for a referral to a psychologist. Or you can:

    Find out more about:

    Speak to a maternal child health nurse

    Call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby to speak to a maternal child health nurse on 1800 882 436 or video call. Available 7am to midnight (AET), 7 days a week.

    Last reviewed: September 2024