Positive parenting

The Positive Parenting Program, also known as Triple P, is a parenting education and support program. It was first developed at the University of Queensland Parenting and Family Support Centre.

The Triple P program aims to help parents and carers:

• raise happy, confident, capable children
• have close, loving relationships with their children
• encourage positive child behaviour
• prevent and manage child misbehaviour effectively
• feel that they can handle various parenting situations

Triple P have worked with thousands of families. There is evidence to show that their programs are effective. Triple P is supported by funding from the Australian Government.

The Positive Parenting Program is for parents and carers of children aged up to 16 years. Triple P offers free courses to support parents.

The programs are designed for a wide variety of parents and carers, including those with children who have:

• different needs
• diverse socio-economic, cultural and ethnic backgrounds

Triple P offers help with 5 key principles to being a positive parent:

1. Creating a safe, interesting environment.
2. Encouraging positive learning.
3. Learning to use assertive discipline.
4. Being realistic.
5. Taking care of yourself as a parent.

Creating a safe and interesting environment

You can take care to keep your child's environment safe by:

• putting dangerous objects such as knives and medicines out of a young child's reach
• using age-appropriate safe seats in the car
• having child-proof locks around pools

But what makes an environment 'interesting' for a young child?

Children don't need expensive toys. You can encourage imaginative play by providing equipment to keep children active and creative. This may be with:

• dress up clothes
• boxes for making cubby houses
• craft materials, including pencils and play dough

Busy children are less likely to become bored and misbehave.

Providing positive feedback

All children need their parents' attention — a little positive attention can go a long way.

Pay attention to what your child is doing, and give specific positive feedback, such as 'You worked at that puzzle for ages — I'm proud that you stuck to it'.

Children need kindness and affection too. An arm around the shoulder or a quick cuddle, saying 'I love you' makes them feel wanted, included and secure.

Learning to use assertive discipline

It's important to be set clear rules and boundaries. That's because children do best in a stable, predictable environment.

Assertive discipline means:

• setting ground rules
• following through with an age-appropriate consequence if rules are broken (such as taking away a toy for a few minutes)

It may also mean that you ignore some little things, and congratulate your child for doing the right thing. Show you're happy and praise them when they are kind, fair and helpful.

Being realistic

Nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes. Tailor what you expect to your child's development level and capacity.

Try to put yourself in a 3-year-old's shoes. And remember, we all have bad days but learn through experience.

Being a parent can be very demanding. You need time for yourself so you come back refreshed and calm. This may be:

• time with other adults
• time on your own
• time to do what you enjoy

If you have a partner, work as a team if you can — a responsibility shared feels much lighter. If not, you will need to find other ways. This may be by asking for help from other people.

Learn more about nurturing key relationships.

When everything builds up and you feel emotionally overwhelmed, ask for help. You may want to ask:

• your partner
• friends
• family
• local parent support groups
• your local child and family health nurse

Talking over problems with a more experienced parent can make your own views clearer and show a way forward.

Involving children in reasonable chores helps get things done. It can also make everyone feel useful and responsible.

Developing friendships outside the family and becoming connected to your community also broadens your support network.

You can talk to your doctor or child health nurse about where to get parenting help and support.

Triple P runs courses online and through local organisations across Australia. Contact Triple P for more information.

You can also visit Parentline for parenting help and support.