Partner's guide to bringing a baby home

Bringing your baby home from hospital is a major event in any parent's life. It will take time to adjust to your new life as a family, but your confidence will grow.

Preparing your home for your new baby is an exciting time. Newborns don't need anything other than love, milk and warmth, but there are some things to prepare when it comes to getting your home ready for when your baby arrives. Here are some tips to consider:

• Where will your new baby sleep? Do I need a baby monitor? Have a cot or bassinet ready that meets current Australian safety standards and follow safe sleeping recommendations.
• Where will you bathe your baby? Set up a safe, comfortable spot for washing your baby.
• Where will you change their nappynappy? Create a clean, comfortable and safe changing area.
• Where and how will your baby feed?

Before your baby is born, you may also choose to buy a pram. It's important to make sure these meet Australian safety standards.

Car seat safety

If you are going to drive with your baby in the car, you will also need to have an approved rear-facing child restraint (baby seat) secured correctly in your car.

Can I buy baby items second-hand?

You do not need to buy everything new, and it can be helpful to save money by accepting or buying second-hand baby clothes and toys. If you need to buy safety items like cots, mattresses, and car seats second-hand, make sure:

• they have the Australian standards label still attached
• that everything works as it should

After you come home with your new baby, try to involve yourself in your baby's care. This will help build your confidence as a new parent.

Tips to help care for your baby:

• dress your baby
• settle them
• wash your baby
• change their nappies

You and your partner should both play with your baby. Spending one-on-one time is also a great way to bond with your baby and give your partner time to rest.

You can help your baby's brain develop and build their first language skills by:

• talking to them
• copying their facial expressions

New babies can be breastfed or bottle-fed with breast milk, formula, or a mix of both. Your support and encouragement can make a big difference.

How can I support my breastfeeding partner?

Breastfeeding has many benefits, but it can take time to learn how to breastfeed properly. Your support and encouragement will help your partner during this time.

You can learn about why breastfeeding is important and how it works, so that you can help your breastfeeding partner and notice any issues early on. Encourage your partner to ask for help if they need it.

Some tips to support your partner when breastfeeding are:

• doing some household tasks
• bringing them a drink or a pillow
• looking after siblings, pets or visitors
• settling your baby after the feed, bathing them or changing their nappy

Breastfeeding helps to build a bond with your baby. Tips to help you also bond with your baby are:

• carrying them close in a sling or carrier
• cuddling them next to your skin
• comforting them when they are crying

How can I support my partner when formula feeding?

If you are formula feeding or mixed feeding your baby, you can support your partner by:

• learning how to safely prepare bottles
• taking turns feeding the baby
• washing or sterilising bottles

It can be difficult for parents to balance work and family life. A tip to help balance work and family is to sit down with your partner and discuss important topics early on such as:

• what needs to be done
• who is going to do different tasks
• how you are going to manage your finances

You may be able to take some leave from your job when your baby is born. You or your partner may be eligible for parental leave pay — a government payment to help you care for a newborn or adopted child.

Becoming parents is a big change, and it's normal to have different opinions on some things. This can be hard, but talking to each other and listening to each other's point of view is a good way to overcome these feelings.

Tips to help you parent as a team include:

• try to make decisions together
• commit to your roles as parents
• deal with conflict calmly and respectfully

Sexual relationships can change after the birth of a baby too. It can sometimes take months before couples have sex again. This can be because of:

• tiredness
• physical changes after the birth
• postnatal depression

Contraception is usually discussed with your midwife after your baby is born, either in hospital or at your 6-week postnatal check-up.

Tips to help keep your bond strong are:

• being supportive while your partner is recovering from the birth
• finding other ways to be intimate (such as kissing and cuddling)
• sharing the load of baby care and household chores

'Baby blues' are common in the first few weeks after your baby is born, but you should encourage your partner to see a doctor, if they show signs of postnatal depression such as:

• sadness
• loss of interest
• irritability
• anger
• feelings of guilt

Read more on the baby blues.

Read more on the postnatal depression.

Caring for a newborn baby can be exhausting. You may feel tired, stressed or overwhelmed. It can be easy to forget about looking after yourself. It is important to eat healthy food, get physically active and try to get to enough sleep.

Remember, dads and partners can get postnatal anxiety and depression too. It's very important to talk with your doctor if you are feeling:

• very tired
• irritable
• angry
• overwhelmed
• like you can't cope

It can take courage to seek help, but it's the best thing you can do for you and your family.

• The Australian Breastfeeding Association offers support with breastfeeding via the National Breastfeeding Helpline on 1800 686 268.
• Beyond Blue offers support and advice for new parents on 1300 22 4636.
• For more parenting advice, you can visit the Tresillian website or call their parent helpline on 1300 272 736 (7am – 11pm, 7 days a week).
• Emotional support and resources for new parents can also be found through the Centre of Perinatal Excellence (COPE) website.
• Mensline offers support and counselling services on 1300 78 99 78.
• The Gidget Foundation website has resources and support for new parents who may be suffering from postnatal anxiety and depression.

If you're feeling depressed or anxious, or feeling like you might hurt yourself or your baby, you can call:

• the PANDA Helpline on 1300 726 306 (Mon to Fri, 9am – 7.30pm AEST)
• Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)

Information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples

• Baby Coming, You ready? Is a digital platform that supports social and emotional wellbeing of Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people.
• Gidget Foundation Australia has resources and support for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander new parents.

Information for sexually and gender-diverse families

• Rainbow families offer new parenting support for sexually and gender-diverse families.